My mom passed on July 22 and I have been lost since. I know it will get better, although, I don’t see that happening any time soon but I know my life will get better and I will move on. But right now, I hurt, I ache and I just want my mom back. I will never be able to hug her, hold her hand, just feel her motherly embrace…because there is no other thing like a mothers hug. I know she isn’t suffering anymore and I know she is with my dad but still hurts like heck and I just miss her so much.
The past days I have been lethargic. I did manage to get 5 hours of work in yesterday. GO ME! Thankful for my company and allowing me to take baby steps and ease back into work. The past 3 months have become a blur and what we went through was close to hell. Watching my mom decline so rapidly and just dealing with all things revolving around hospice and death. Just drains a person. So instead of feeling guilty not going to work today, I feel relieve a little because I am doing the best I can right now. There is nothing to prepare you for losing a parent. Hospice is a wonderful piece and I am glad I had them with my dad and with my mom…but nothing prepares you for that loss. I will heal myself and take care of my sensitive feelings…I will invoke aromatherapy, light candles, write, art therapy and something tells me I will find my creative side again and the studio, well the studio is going to be humming before too long. But, for now, I am taking baby steps to heal. blessed be
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